Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
