garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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