i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
