Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
