the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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