sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
