he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
