It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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