he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
