i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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