Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
