Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
