I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its not stalking. its research.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
