Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
