Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
