she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
