party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
