I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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