I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
