The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
