I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it glows. i had to have it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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