..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
