I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
