Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
