I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
