i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
