i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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