I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she smelled like a LAN party
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
