Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
