You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
