I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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