I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We’re leaving where are you
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