i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
