Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
