nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
