the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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