used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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