i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
