So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
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