YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
