Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
