omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
