I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
