My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
