You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
