The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
