i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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