Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
