I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
