You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
