I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
