We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
